The Biggest Meditation Myth – Busted

(and My Best Tips for Effective Meditation)

‘Clear your mind.’

That right there is the biggest meditation myth.

Sure, if you want to you can hold it as a kind of long-term aspiration, something that might come after a lifetime of devoted practice but if you sit down expecting to turn off your thoughts, you’re setting yourself up to feel like you’ve failed before you’ve even begun.

This is why so many people believe they “can’t meditate” or that they’re “doing it wrong.” That their minds won’t cooperate.

But here’s the truth: even people who’ve been meditating every day for decades still have thoughts. Monks on silent retreat might manage to dramatically slow the flow of mental chatter but even they don’t fully eliminate it.

So no, your mind should not, and will not, be totally empty when you meditate. Whether you’re sitting still, walking, practising breathwork, or moving through yoga, the aim is not to become a blank slate.

It’s actually about learning to observe your thoughts without judgment.

And yes, maybe to slow them down a little.

Meditation is About Training the Mind, Not Silencing It

The average person has around 33 thoughts per minute. Let that sink in.

So when you sit down and suddenly feel like your thoughts are multiplying, you haven’t failed. You’ve just become more aware of what was already going on.

Yay!
That is progress.
That is meditation.

Having a completely empty mind isn’t the goal and frankly, it’s not realistic. Instead, the practice is about developing focus and awareness, observing thoughts and emotions without judgment, and gently returning to your anchor point: your breath, a mantra, a sound, a sensation.

Thoughts are normal.
Observe them.
Let them pass.
Come back to your focus, again and again.

That’s meditation.

And here’s the good news: you’ll start to feel the benefits even if your Thoughts Per Minute only drop by one or two points. Truly. That tiny shift can begin to support your nervous system, improve sleep, soften reactivity, and give you more space between stimulus and response.

Over time with patience and consistency you might find your thoughts naturally begin to slow down more. But that’s not the goal right now.

Right now, the goal is to simply notice without judgment… and return.
Let that be enough.

How Do You Stop Judging Your Thoughts?

It starts with releasing labels like “good” or “bad,” “positive” or “negative" when it comes to your thoughts.

Thoughts aren’t facts.

They’re not permanent.

They’re just passing through like clouds in the breeze, or bubbles floating away.

Here are a few simple tools that can help:

• Mentally say, “Ah, that’s a thought” or "There goes another thought". No story, no attachment, no shame just gentle noticing.
  
  

• Visualise each thought as a bubble floating away, or a cloud drifting across the sky.
  
  

• Imagine a chalk board or a whiteboard where each thought appears and you can simply wipe it clean.
  
  

This isn’t about suppressing thoughts. It’s about changing your relationship with them.

Use Simple Rituals to Begin Your Practice

For some, the hardest part of meditating is simply beginning.
And often, that’s because we forget this:

Your meditation begins before you close your eyes.

Creating a gentle sense of ritual helps your body and mind recognise:

“Ah, this is the space where we slow down.”

You might try:

• Lighting a candle (candle gazing can be a wonderful meditative focus)

• Using lavender essential oil in a diffuser, or rubbing a drop gently into your temples or brow

• Making a soothing cup of herbal tea
  

• Sitting in the same spot each time or on the same cushion
  

• Holding a crystal or a smooth stone
  

• Repeating a simple mantra; 'om' is a good one to start with.
  

• Starting with breathwork like a simple box breath (in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, pause for 4)
  

Your ritual doesn’t need to be elaborate. In fact, the simpler, the better so you don’t turn it into a reason to procrastinate or not to do it at all.

It just needs to feel intentional. Something that connects you with your body, your breath, and your sacred “you” time.

Meditation Doesn’t Have to Mean Sitting in Silence

In fact, for many people that alone would make meditation seem unachievable.

If your inner (or outer) chaos is just too damn loud you can use guided meditations - there are plenty to choose from on Spotify, YouTube or dedicated meditation apps like Headspace or Insight Timer.

Guided meditation practices can gently anchor you, helping you feel safe and held.

Alternatively, or after you’ve had practice with the guided meditations you can try the following natural sounds:

• Ocean waves
• Birdsong
• Rain

You might also try sound frequencies or binaural beats to gently move your brain toward calmer states

Be Where You Are

Your meditation doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s and what works for you one day might not be the right fit for you the next. If I’ve had a hectic day, or am at particular phases of my cycle I can’t always get into the right frame of mind without a backing track either of one of my own meditations or someone else's or one of the other sounds mentioned in the previous section.

So, maybe today you manage two minutes before a toddler climbs on your lap. Maybe tomorrow it’s ten whole quiet minutes with your eyes closed and your heart softening.

Some days will feel like magic and an hour might slip by.

Some days will feel like resistance and a minute will drag.

Both are valid. Both are practice.

And remember: it’s not about eliminating every thought. It’s about how you relate to your thoughts and it’s about that returning to yourself.

I'm Not Even a Meditation Coach!

I did just mention that I sometimes use my own meditation recordings and I do indeed sometimes create and record meditations for myself and for my clients.

However, in my work as a spiritual coach, although I often begin sessions with a short meditation, I use them as introduction, a way to help you slow your breath, quiet your system, and get into the right state for the magic that follows.

Guided inner journeys.

Inner journeys are different and are deeply transformative.

These are even less about reducing mental chatter than meditation is.

In some ways they are the opposite in fact because they are about creating a particular kind of inner dialogue.

During a journey, you may connect with your spirit guides, uncover intuitive insights, manifest your desires, raise your vibration, or experience energy healing.

These experiences unfold in rich, symbolic ways led by your soul and your deep subconscious mind.

They are deeply supportive and informative if you’re feeling stuck, curious, overwhelmed, or pulled toward something new but can’t quite name it yet. Your soul always knows the way sometimes it just needs a little help speaking to you in a way that you can understand.

If you are interested in speaking to me about what your inner journeys might look like you can book a zero obligation, zero sales BS call here.